Thirty's a-comin'...

Y'all, I turn 30 this year. Thirty. Like, in three months. I'm no spring chicken anymore.

And since I'm pretty sure we're done having kiddos (did I just hear you chuckle, God?), now is the time to start paying more attention to my health (not that I shouldn't pay attention if more kids were in our future, but you know what I mean). I want to start my 30s off in tip top shape. Tip. Top.

My bright idea to accomplish this: superfood smoothies. Smoothies are such a stealthy way to add more nutrients into your diet. Didn't you know this? At least, this is the approach I've taken with Liam. Throw in vegetables but mask them with sweet fruits and he'll never know the difference. (The French would be appalled.) So, this morning I enthusiastically throw every green food I can find into the blender: spinach, kale, apple, pear, avocado...and then I throw in some vanilla yogurt and some orange juice for good measure. Blend.




Wow. That is really green. Ummm...I start thinking maybe it's a little too green (read: gross), so I throw in some frozen cherries and some more yogurt. Now it is a drab brown color. Much better.

Oh well. It is going to do wonders for my health, I tell myself. And of course, my husband's and Liam's as well. Yes, Kelley and I had been discussing recently how we both wanted to lose those last 10 pounds, and then the size we will be is the size we should maintain from here on out. So he's included in this smoothie adventure.

Of course, it doesn't do any good if we don't actually drink it. So I put it in styrofoam (read: not see-through) cups. Liam takes one sip, thinking it's his regular tropical smoothie. He's sorely mistaken, and he refuses anymore. Think Amy Poehler's character in Baby Mama when Tina Fey makes her try the Green Monster smoothie. Next, I serve it to Kelley, telling him not to look at it or think about what's in it. Just drink it down, I tell him. He makes the same face Liam did after one sip, but I tell him he has to drink it. His feelings toward it are just psychological; he already made up his mind that it was going to be disgusting, I tell him. Of course, mine stays in the fridge for a while before I work up the nerve to try it.

My first sip isn't bad. Granted, it is a small sip, but I mainly taste the pear. It tastes pretty fresh. So I start drinking the rest until I gag. It has the same taste and texture as applesauce, but it smells like a salad. And it looks uncomfortably similar to Riley's last diaper that I changed. (Just keeping it real, y'all.) There's nothing smooth about it. It's chalky and a little gritty and has the same visceral affect on me as hearing fingernails on a chalkboard.

But mind over matter, right? If I sip it just right, not allowing it to pass over certain taste buds, I can get about half of it down without gagging. And three ounces is better than none. I feel healthier already. But I throw the rest of it down the drain.

So it's an acquired taste, I guess. Better luck next time, right?


Updated (September 23, 2013): This morning, I opened the fridge to find my own Green Monster staring me in the face. So I tried something. Since it reminded me of applesauce, I decided to eat it with a spoon instead of drinking it through a straw. This made a world of difference! I served it to my husband this way, too, and we both easily finished ours this morning. It also helped that it had been chilled 24 hours in the fridge. We actually liked it!