Hey, it's OK...

One of my favorite columns in Glamour magazine is the “Hey, It’s Ok…” page, filled with one-liners to make readers feel a little more human about our shortcomings, so I decided to write my own about my recent experiences with mommyhood:

Hey, it’s OK…

To pretend to go to the restroom, when what you're really doing is sneaking the junk food so your toddler doesn’t see you. You don’t want to set a bad example, after all.

If you consider the television a good babysitter. It’s free, and you don’t have to worry about it stealing from you.

If you don’t wash and sterilize the bottles and breast pump after every use. If manufacturers really meant for you to, they would have made less parts.

To play rock-paper-scissors with your spouse to see who gets up with the baby this time.

If you justify a filthy house by remarking on how you’re building up your family’s immunity. What doesn’t kill you just makes you stronger, right?

If washing your hands is considered a luxury you don't have time for. (See previous item.)

If your to-do list includes “Brush teeth” and “Put on deodorant”…even if they don’t get crossed off by the end of the day.

To write down what you DID do that day, just so you can cross it off. Even if that includes “Feed baby.”

To drive around town with the kiddos for the afternoon so the little one will sleep and the bigger one will stay put for a bit.

If marinara sauce and ketchup count as your child’s daily veggie requirement.

To count graham crackers as a meal. For your tot and for you.

To choose cuddling your sleeping baby over folding laundry.

To choose taking a nap over cuddling your sleeping baby.

If you consider a bathroom break to be quality you-time.

If using a baby wipe counts as a bath. How dirty does a newborn get, anyway?

If your hair care routine consists solely of dry shampoo and hair ties.

To use, "I carried and gave birth to him," as a reason why your husband should take over baby duties. Every. Single. Time.

If you sleep in your makeup just so you don't have to put it on the next day.

What would you add to this list?