Ever since we moved into a house built in the '50s that smells like, well, a house built in the '50s, I have jumped on the Bath and Body Works bandwagon with their three-wick candles and Wallflower plug-ins. I've never bought their candles before because they're a little ridiculously priced, but Heaven started sending me coupons through my email, and since I've only ever paid half-price for those delicious-smelling delights, my house now smells like someone who lives here actually bakes!
But such is my tendency, once I find a good thing, I start obsessing (just a little!), and at 6:45 every morning, BBW fills my inbox with some sort of AMAZING DEAL THAT I JUST SIMPLY CANNOT PASS UP, and I find myself pulled in the direction of their store to buy ANOTHER candle. One day, my husband gathered all the candles I'd bought and put them in a group on our kitchen table, looking at me with eyebrows raised. Being the tender soul that he is, he didn't scold; he just gently asked, "No more candles?" Sweet thing.
Oh, but the emails still come, and now it seems that Bath and Body Works is on a mission to see JUST HOW MANY autumn-themed scents they can create. I got this email this morning:
Congratulations, BBW! You've managed to bottle up into a pretty three-wick wonderful package EVERY SINGLE autumn smell there could possibly be, right?
Well, not quite. Since the name of the game is obviously to achieve world domination by way of wicks, I've decided to join your cause by discovering some Fall scents you may have missed. They are, in no particular order:
- PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE! Come on, BBW, how could you MISS this one? The number one quintessential scent of the season??! You must be slipping. Or maybe it's an intellectual property, can't-infringe-on-Starbucks kind of issue, but in that case, I think I see a partnership that needs to happen. Just imagine a world where you can FILL YOUR HOME with the smell that's in your Starbucks cup. This needs to happen ASAP. K thanks!
- UGG BOOTS. Speaking of PSL, these two go together like peanut butter and jelly (which would also make a good "Back to school" scent, but I digress). And all the college-aged American girls said Amen! Better yet, let's try an UGG Boots Worn Without Socks candle. That'd be fun. You can make space on the shelf right next to your Sweater Weather candle.
- THE SMELL YOUR HEATER MAKES WHEN YOU TURN IT ON FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR. There's nothing like the scare of a gas leak and a major heater-induced headache to scream "It's Fall, y'all!"
- MONTH-OLD JACK O'LANTERN. It seems we haven't explored EVERY pumpkin scent there is...See also
- CANNED PUMPKIN. Oh, there's a smell all right. And while we're on the subject of cans...
- CANNED CONGEALED CRANBERRY SAUCE. I'm assuming there will be a whole line of scents that have a Thanksgiving theme, so I'm giving you a head start...
- TURKEY GIZZARDS. Or giblets or whatever that stuff is called that you pull OUT of the turkey before you stuff it? I forget, seeing as how I wouldn't touch that junk with a ten-foot pole. And speaking of things I don't touch...
- DEVILED EGGS. I mean, who doesn't love the smell of those little half moons filled with sulfur? Right? Because that has to be what they're made of to smell that way, yeah?
- THE MAYFLOWER. Don't you wonder what that boat smelled like with all those people and animals tucked in nice and cozy with no showers or ventilation. (Or am I thinking about the Ark?) With the help of BBW, we'd no longer be forced to depend on our imaginations.
- BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPERS WHO CAMP OUT FOR A WEEK. But amirite?
- GREAT UNCLE FRED AFTER THANKSGIVING DINNER. Great Uncle Fred has apparently developed a lactose intolerance, no?
- GAMEDAY CROCKPOT FIVE-BEAN CHILI. So when I pick some up from the Publix deli, my guests will still think it's been simmering all day in my house.
- THE MR. AFTER EATING YOUR GAMEDAY CROCKPOT FIVE-BEAN CHILI. Maybe we could expand our target market to include college frat guys with this one? I dunno, just thinking.
- HAYRIDE. Visions of flannel blankets and cocoa are running through my head. And also...
- THE BACKEND OF A CLYDESDALE PULLING THE HAYRIDE. Because you just can't have one without the other.
- CASHMERE SWEATER THAT YOU'VE WORN SEVERAL TIMES WITHOUT CLEANING. Seriously, though, with the cost of dry cleaning and the time it takes to run that errand, you know you do it, too. This one would go next to UGG BOOTS, FLANNEL, and SWEATER WEATHER. I'm seeing an apparel trend developing, so how about
- CHRISTMAS PAJAMAS. This candle would capture the scent of those adorbs PJs after your little angels have played in them ALL DAY. Because otherwise, you'd just have the smell of laundry detergent. Or, if you're like me, the smell of the clothing store. (Honestly, who has time to wash EVERY piece of new clothing BEFORE the kids wear them? They'll be dirty in five minutes. Why rush it?) But speaking of kiddos...
- TURKEY DINNER BABY FOOD. It smells as great as it looks!
And that's just the beginning. I have yet to explore the possibilities of football tailgates (think cheap libations and brats), sweaty Halloween costumes, and all of the wonderful smells of fall festivals.
What scents would you add? Comment in the section below!